Since the advent of time, man has always sought companionship. It
could range from something as platonic as a close friendship to a deep and
lasting marriage with shared responsibilities such as children. For
every person, the question that always comes up is "where can I find that
special someone? How"?
However, finding that special someone is not as simple as it seems.
Each person's uniqueness and idiosyncrasies, although bringing color and
vibrancy in a relationship, brings risks. But these risks depend on
the expectations on relationships, on one's knowledge on issues that
could arise, and on a greater great degree, on social skills.
We try to limit the risks by seeking out our special someone from our
own race, our own country or our own religion. We go to places where we
could probably find people with the same sexual preferences as we have.
We seek out friends who may have friends or acquaintances who we could
meet.
However, there are some of us who would like something different.
There are some of us who are risk-takers, who have the attitude of
conquering the world and everything it could offer. There are those of us who
are daring, who want something exciting and maybe forbidden. We would
like to take the risks yet limit its consequences.
Although the need for companionship has not changed, there is one
thing that has - TIME. As cities continue to modernize and become more
efficient, more and more companies have organizational structures that
limit physical access to other people. We get tied to a job in an office
cubicle whose only link to the outside world is the internet through a
computer. The time we have to develop and nurture relationships "face to
face" has become extremely limited.
We don't have the time to go courting as our parents or grandparents
did in the olden times. The matchmaking aunts and relatives that they
had then are virtually extinct as we live our usually solitary lives in
our city apartments. Our human "face to face" inter-actions are now
limited to a few officemates and a great number of nameless faces we see
as we walk through the streets to and from work.
But companionship is a basic human need. We seek to find our match
yet lack the time to do so. We want to keep in touch with our roots and
establish links thru relationships yet lack the time to do so. We want
to find our "soul mates", the person who shares our inner most beliefs,
but are limited again by time and for others, space as they spend their
lives in 9 to 5 jobs in an office cubicle.
But there is hope. The internet frightening though it seems, with its
non-physical characteristic except for the usual PC or laptop, opens to
us a gateway. It links us to a vast resource of people seeking out
people.
The internet introduces to us the concept of on-line dating. This
phenomenon allows us to get to know people, screen them and size them up in
an almost risk-free venue. We could go from one relational level to
the next with ease and cut off right away if it gets too close. All
these can happen with just a PC and a laptop on hand.
Now all we need is the skill, the know-how and the right organization
to get what all of us need from dating that the internet could offer.
If only we could find the link of all links what could link us with our
ultimate "soul-mate", we shall look at our PC or laptop as the gateway
to that source of joy and excitement. But the link has to be there or
we would be wasting the one precious commodity that we can't afford to
waste – TIME.
Tom Takihi is the proud owner of the Discover Network. For more
information on this topic, please visit the dedicated portal
http://www.DiscoverDating.info website.
Marriage Counseling - Is Talking To A Marriage Counselor Worth The Cost?
Marriage counseling is something people are quick to recommend when you have marital problems. Of course, they do this with good intentions.
Friends and family who make those recommendations are convinced that speaking with a marriage counselor will somehow help you resolve your marital problems.
But marriage counseling can be expensive.
Some marriage counselors charge as much as $150 per hour for consultation. That can be pretty expensive if you live in an economically challenged country.
Besides, is it really worth the cost? Isn't marriage counseling overrated?
It depends on the way you look at it.
First, you must remember that a relationship expert is not perfect. Since he's not perfect, his advice will not also be perfect. This means that you run the risk of talking to an 'expert' with a poor sense of judgment.
What do you expect if the expert's sense of judgment is poor?
Bad advice. Bad strategy. Failure.
Here's the complete picture.
The relationship expert you choose to speak with may be smart, intelligent, and experienced. In this case, you're likely to get the best advice possible
Or . . .
The marriage counselor may be half-baked, dull, and unintelligent. In this case, expect to get the wrong advice or advice that is totally worthless.
Second, the relationship expert you consult with for marriage counseling may be dubious. A dubious marriage counselor can turn into a blackmailer.
When you go for marriage counseling, it is customary to provide as much information as possible. Don't expect sound advice if the person providing the advice has little
knowledge of what your challenges are.
This means that you must of necessity talk openly with the relationship expert you have chosen to speak with.
There's nothing wrong with this.
However, things can turn sour if the relationship expert with whom you have discussed your marital problems turns out to be a riffraff. He can easily begin to blackmail you with the information you supplied him.
Third, discussing your relationship problems with a relationship expert will not make your problems disappear. For many, marital problems persist long after the couple have gone for
marriage counseling.
This brings us back to the question.
Is marriage counseling worth the cost?
The answer is . . . yes.
Of course, marriage counseling has its flaws. But talking to a marriage counselor helps.
However, you must speak to a relationship expert with a clear objective in mind.
You must understand that the marriage counselor will assist you to solve your marital problems. The marriage counselor will not solve your marital problems for you.
What does that mean?
This means that the relationship expert provides you with options and helps you see things in a new light. He expands your horizon and comes with a fresh perspective.
Who solves the problems?
You.
You must deal with your problems yourself. Your problem is your responsibility and you cannot run away from it.
For example, should you marry Philip or Kelvin? Who should decide that? You.
Another example.
Should you get a divorce or stay and work things out with your partner?
Who should decide that? You.
How does marriage counseling help you then?
You lay out the problems. You lay out the circumstances. You list your limitations. You list your strengths.
The marriage counselor will analyze the problems or issues on the basis of what is known to work in real life. He may provide you with additional resources or supply supporting data. He will lay out the choices for you.
Thereafter you must choose the path to follow.
This is your life. You alone can decide what you want to do with it.
Does marriage counseling help?
Of course!
If relationship experts don't provide a valuable service, they will soon be out of business.
They know this. So they seek to maintain a high level of ethical standard in their practice. And they work hard to give their clients the best advice possible.
Having said that, you must understand that everything in life has advantages and disadvantages. Marriage counseling does. And so does everything else in life.
So, if you have serious marital problems, don't hesitate to talk to a relationship expert.
Marriage counseling really helps.
About The Author
Samson Itoje is a relationship expert. He offers marriage counseling services at http://www.true-love-relationship-advice.com/relationship-rescue.html.
and relationship coaching courses at http://www.true-love-relationship-advice.com/relationship-coach.html.
Looking for love advice? Talk to Samson Itoje.
Do We Have A Relationship Problem
A relationship problem can start off with just the simplest thing, but when it isn't discovered it grows. This can cause so many turns of events, from a marriage that falls apart to a relationship that is called off. Some may even find that their family relationship ends. Don't let this happen to you, learn how to catch a relationship problem before it gets too big.
Any relationship problem begins with just one thing, and many of us try to ignore it. If you are married, maybe the problem is how much time your spouse stays away from the home, due to a job or spending time with friends. Over time, this problem will grow and your mind may play nasty tricks on you. For instance, your husband/wife always works late and you hate it. You want to spend more time with them, but instead of telling them, you keep silent. This is a relationship problem. You need communication for any relationship to work. Over time, you start wondering if the reason they stay late is another co-worker, or maybe they aren't even at work. This is where your mind begins to trick you. During a bad day at work or home, your spouse comes home and you just blow. You tell them that they are cheating and they are left in the dark wondering where you came up with this and how long you've been feeling this way. See how the problem happened?
Now, there will be repercussions because of this accusation. Suddenly, you are in a spot. What will you do? Every divorce is caused by a simple relationship problems that go unresolved. When a problem grows in a relationship over a certain amount of time, build-up happens. Speak to your spouse on a daily basis; if you don't have time to talk, leave him or her messages on a pad of paper.
Other relationships can have the same problem; it doesn't matter if you aren't married to the person. Did you ever have a friend that did something that bugged you? Maybe you never returned someone's phone call and hurt their feelings. Or you leave it up to someone to always call you. A person can feel hurt for any number of reasons, which can lead to a relationship problem. The best way to avoid this is to talk to them about it. Do you have a problem that you need to talk about?
Jade Greene
Marriage Counsellor
marriage----counseling.blogspot.com
